Before we we married, my wife and I made a choice to try and start our marriage with a solid foundation. I thank God for the many great people and mentors in our lives at that time which guided us. One of my mentors suggested we study “Before you say I do”.
The book had some great advice and things to consider. One thing that really stood out for me was a section on expectations. H.Norman Wright and Wes Roberts advised to be completely clear and lay out all your expectations of each other. They recommend you bring this all out in the open and not pass judgment but rather, listen to each other.
The reason they have couples do this is because we all carry around certain expectations of how we think things should be. This is a result from our upbringing and environment. This can cause a rift with couples when late in their marriage, they discover each one is holding the other up to an unrealistic expectation.
After completing this exercise we addressed some issues and compromised on what would be feasible. It was encouraging to know where each one stood on certain things. Sixteen years later we still do our occasional audit to make sure we’re on the same path.
Read and meditate on James 1:19. What does this verse say to you?
What are your expectations for your wife / girlfriend / kids / others? Write these down.
Meditate / Make It Real:
Pray over these expectations and ask God for wisdom on how to address them. Then share them with her / them and ask them for feedback on expectations of you.